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 Talbot, London SW1, London South West


Little Chester St
London SW1

Tel: 020 7235 1639
See Map

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Northern Monkey
Appalling service
A virtually empty pub..... I was surprised at 3.30 on a Friday afternoon, but soon found out why!
Could I have a pint of bitter please? was met with almost a snarl of We have no ale! OK, said I - I'll have a pint of 1664 then please.... You have to wait.. the gas is off!
As this was the start of the weekend, I was fairly relaxed, thought I would wait and decided to visit the Gents whilst I waited...No lights, wet floor ... you guess, urine or water? and no running water for the handbasin.

I came out ready to complain rather strongly about the situation, but stood then for 5 minutes listening to two people from a party in the corner ( 25 people or so) trying to convimce the same barperson I had dealt with that the buffet food that they had been served was both sadly lacking in quality and quantity and that items listed on the menu were missed - guess how much luck they had??

I decided to cut my losses and cut their income. I have never visited this place before, and can guarantee I will not be giving them another visit - I would strongly suggest you learn from my experiences and simply do not even go in the place.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Rating: No rosettes

One of the worse experiences I have ever had. 30 of us all paid 10 each for a Christmas Buffet. The advance menu promised us prawns, a selection of delicious sandwiches amongst a whole host of other tasy sounding morsels. When we arrived and ordered the first round we were told that there was no ales available and only lagers.. After what felt like a lifetime we eventually got our drinks, seeing there was only 14 others in the pub at the time this was a little annoying. Another guy waiting at the bar for a pint of Guiness said jokingly that this was a great pub to sober up in! So we then all went and sat in the designated area waiting for our delicious buffet to arrive. Some 2 hours later (we were booked in for 3) a few plates of semi warm but very greasy chicken wings came out together with some mini sausage rolls that looked like they had been in the bottom of the freezer since last Christmas, of and some slices of fish fingers around the outside of the plate. In the meantime I had returned to the bar to order another round and was told by Nat that although she could take my drinks order and charge me she was unable to pour any drinks cos the gas is off init. She assured me in her best what I can only assume was Serbo Croat that it would only be a minute or so. I foolishly made a joke about the gas running out (after she had fleeced me for 28 for 6 drinks) and she jumped down my throat with what's your *.*king problem, every pub can run out of gas, if ya don't like go somewhere else! . I did point out to her that had they have had hand drawn real ale on tap like they advertise they wouldnt have needed compressed gas. She told me to get stuffed, I returned to the dining area in shock and by this time the person who had organised the event had already complained to the manager that we had paid out almost 300 and had about 15 of poor quality food in return. The Manager then started coming out with oh we didnt get a confirmation that you were coming and had to russle you up the best we could manage, pity they bothered. My colleage by this time had bitten into one of the chiken legs and it was bloody and cold inthe middle, he rushed into the Gents to be sick and slid on the wet floor banging his head against one of the urinals. It may have been avoided if there was sa light in there, rather than being pitch black. Another of our group went to his assistance and tried to clean the blood of his face to see the extent of his injury only to discover not only was the toilet in darknes with what smelt to be urine on the floor there was no running water either.

Meanwhile some of the group were complainging at the bar about the food, or lack of it and eventually given a 30% refund which frankly was too little too late. The
anager clamed that the type of food we were expecting was never on offer, adly for her though we had the original menu and booking confirmation back at the office. So, we voted with our feet and went along to the Wilton Arms and stayed there until around 11 so the Talbot lost our trade. I guess though a pub like this doesnt care as there are always fresh victims.

Avoid at all costs and in particular don't cross Miss Personality (Nat) she has the bite of a rabid Rotweiller, a traditional London tavern indeed. A pub with no beer, no food and crap service, a recipe for success!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Rating: rosettes

Contact us

Little Chester St
London SW1

Tel: 020 7235 1639
See Map


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